Since the last time I wrote in this blog, I’ve been thinking about writing again in this blog. For one reason or another I made the decision not to. Mostly, I think, the decision not to write has been linked to the fact that I no longer feel like a runner. I know that many runners will say something like “once a runner always a runner” or “if you want to be a runner, just run”. But, the truth is that this doesn’t help. Rightly or wrongly, I’ve gradually almost stopped thinking of myself as a runner at all. Despite running a marathon in sub 4 hours, running numerous half marathons and gaining my Leadership in Running Fitness (LIRF) licence; I’ve noticed that I now hesitate to even talk to others about running and find it difficult to offer any advice or tips to newer runners. With all this in mind, I have felt almost unqualified to write in my own blog!
Since my last blog entry I have, on countless occasions tried to get back into running. I’d even managed to get up to about 7 miles…with a lot of effort and discomfort…but each time, something has come up and consistency has been sorely lacking. I’ve even written in here, but then just couldn’t bring myself to publish it. And, the truth is, all of this feels like a huge loss. Unless you already know what it feels like, it’s hard to explain the pain, frustration and even sadness felt by someone who could run 26.2 miles, and could routinely run 10+ miles, to now genuinely struggle to run 1 mile. It’s demoralising and demotivating…which doesn’t help when you’re struggling for motivation!
So, here’s the deal… I started again on Monday (2 days ago). I feel totally unfit, fat and unhealthy. My Achilles and calf still give me discomfort when I’m running but I’ve registered for the Waterside Half Marathon in Derry in September, and I’m determined to run it. To help me with that process, I’m going to try and write something in here every Monday as a way of tracking my progress and to try and help my own motivation. If anyone else actually reads this and finds it interesting or useful, so much the better.
Where am I?
At this stage, it feels like I’m right back at the beginning of my running journey. I’ve just run a 5k…but I had to stop at least 5 times. I currently weigh 15st 2lbs and have a belly (that shakes when I laugh, like a bowl full of jelly). My diet is unfettered by regulation and beer is one of my favourite methods of rehydration. Since Monday though, I’ve started to make changes. I’m trying to stick to a slimming world type diet, increase exercise and limit beer to one night per/week only. I’m going to try and get out for a “long” run on a Friday evening and/or Saturday morning and dig my bike out of the garage again. I intend to try and be as honest as I can on here concerning progress, backward steps and struggles (of which I’m sure there will be plenty). Some of it might be a bit boring – I plan to post my weight each week, my exercise progress and goals…now that I think about it, all of it might be a bit boring!!
So…I’ll be back on Monday- hopefully 4 stone lighter, light of foot and maybe my hair will even grow back by then!!